Ah, Springtime! The birds are singing, the daffodils are blooming, and amazingly, the law already needs to be mowed! With Ken gone and days ticking by, I felt anxious to get the grass seed out so I could sprout some new grass. I don’t aspire for the most perfect lawn, but I do try to keep it looking decent. Hence a trip to Home Depot and I was ready to tackle the turf.
I dragged our fairly new push mower out from under the house. It hadn’t seen the light of day since the Fall. I prided myself on remembering to fill up the extra container of gas while out earlier in the day. I topped off the mower and gamely pulled on the starter string. Nothing. I pulled it again. Nothing. Five more pulls. Still nothing. With regret and quite a bit of crankiness, I put the machine away. Sigh….I need someone with a strong arm.
Two days later, armed with some knowledge of gas “going bad” when it sits too long, I removed all of the old gasoline and started with a fresh batch, expecting great things out of my little mower. “Things” like the sound of an engine turning over and seeing blades turn!
To be honest, I wanted to drop kick the mower across the tall grass! I am not patient with machines that don’t behave. I don’t know how to fix them, I don’t care to learn, and I just want them to serve me at will. The machine bested me this time.
I dragged my rakes and grass seed to the road and furiously attacked the patchy areas. Moments later, my neighbor drove over on his riding lawn mower. He knew I hadn’t been able to get my mower started the first day. “Can I mow part of your lawn?” he asked.
Suddenly I found myself with tears slipping down from under sunglasses. Really? Crying about a lawnmower?
Not really. The offending tool was just the thing that put me over the edge for the day.
What really was bothering me was all the things in the world that I have no control over. Friends with cancer, family members with heavy struggles, my inability to be in two places at once and the frustration that comes with wondering if I’m in the right place now. It seems like every time I get an email, Facebook message or text, there is heavy news from a dear one. It just got to me today.
Meanwhile, Ken has started his second week in Asia. His work is arduous. He traveled to a new city and is working with a different group of people. We’re an organization that deals with languages, but sometimes the differences in culture and trying to get a new message across to a group can be rough going.
I always hesitate to fill him in on the stressors of home when he’s already got so much on his plate being on foreign land. There’s 12 hours difference in the time zones, and as I’m collapsing on the couch he’s up and taking off towards another day of serving. But today I needed my husband to give me a warm, virtual hug.
He can’t fix my problems. Neither can I. Neither can my kind neighbor with the riding lawn mower. But as he reminded me this afternoon, “All I can do is pray for you.”
Sounds good to me. Thanks for your prayers.